Resiliency

I spoke with a man that was worth hundreds of millions of dollars recently. The stock market and the economy is in turmoil. I called looking for advice, and heard a voice in panic, fear, and in a dizzy tirade of pessimism and worry. Now keep in mind, he's got more money than anyone I know personally, and more money to last for generations, and he was distraught.....I started to wonder if I called the right person for advice.
I started to feel worse and worse and abruptly got off the phone. Why? Because it was the last thing I needed to hear. We may be in an economic crisis, but panic does not have to happen. You choose your ability to cope, and fear is not coping. It occurred to me afterwards, that the 10 minute rant I just heard was because this person identifies himself with his worth and his money. Perhaps he lost $50 -$100 million this year. But although he has hundreds of millions left, he was feeling worthless.
I learned a long time ago that I am not my finances. Nor am I to be defined by any single facet of my character or my life. I am not just a businessman, nor am I not just a father, or just a husband, or just a friend, or just a real estate investor, or just a men's grooming products owner, etc. There are many things that make up my self identity.
I have 4 kids, but if the economy fails, I know that I would find a way to feed them and educate them, and raise them right. So what if they don't live in a mansion or attend the best schools. I know what resiliency means.
My maternal grandfather knew about resiliency. In a third world country, he provided for 7 children and 2 grandchildren. He worked many jobs, raised his own poultry and livestock, his own vegetables, and even became a boxer to make a living. He built his own house with his own hands, and educated all his kids. When things got really bad, at the age of 51 he moved out of his home country and to New York. He learned a new trade - furniture refinishing, and made a decent living doing it. He lived for 14 years after arriving in New York, before passing at the age of 65. He had 3 homes, and acres of land in Florida. This was in 1991. He bought everything with 20% down. He took one vacation in 14 years, and did not spend any money unnecessarily. He bought a car at the age of 60. Imagine if he had come to New York at the age of 16. I'll never forget in 1983 there was a huge flood in Western Queens. The city had heavy rain that caused the sewers to flood, along with the East river, There was 3 feet of water or more everywhere. My grandfather woke up early, and was silent. He left his shoes at home and left. He returned 3 hours later with an electric pump, essentially pumping all the water out of his house. Now this was 1983. He did not own a car, and there was no Home Depot or Walmart nearby. This was a coupe. Resiliency. He saw me complete 2 years of college before his heart gave out. When he passed, he left all he had in cash underneath the mattress. Given today's economic crisis, he was wiser than he appeared. He nevery made a lot of money, but he didn't alot either. His estate today would be worth millions. His life insurance was passed on to my grandmother, along with his pension.

The moral of the story is that my friend worth hundreds of millions (born with a silver spoon in his mouth) couldn't handle one week of the stock market crashing, but my Grandfather (who never went to high school) was silently able to find an electric pump in 1983 during a flood (and without shoes.) and pump out the water in his house. There was alot of damage, but he wasn't panicking. I hope I have that kind of gene....always.

We are living in times of the great flood - a flood of economic distress. People of this nation survived it in the 1930's. They came out spendthrift, and with good economic sense. My wife doesn't understand these people. But we are a different generation now, and now one likes to be called cheap or careful with money. Everyone wants a home from MTV cribs. Everyone wants a new car every 3 years. No one wants to save 1 years rent or mortgage payments. As the Dalai Lama says, "there is much on display in the window, but nothing in the store......"and now nothing in the stock room.