The Giant in the Room

I graduatd from college 14 years ago. I don't keep in touch with hardly anyone from college, and always felt that my fraternity and I didn't quite work out. Why would it? I was a poor, shy, insecure kid from Queens, and alot of these guys were well adjusted, well socialized, outspoken kids from wealthy families. I was also not a jock, but alot of these guys were more than just fully grown men in college. I always felt smaller in their presence.

• Last night I went to a Holiday get together consisting of 40 men from the fraternity. It was fantastic. I felt like a giant in the room talking with some of them. Physically, I have gained 30 lbs (mostly muscle) since college, while still keeping a slim build. Some of these guys had gained a lot of weight, where no weight needed to be gained. Some were slouched over, and lacked energy, or even personality. Some lacked spirit, some were confused. They were mostly where I was a year ago. I felt like I could pick any of these guys up with one hand. Like me, alot of them were doing well. However, most of the guys looked miserable in their jobs, and happy to be with their college buddies again. I gave a speech. Everyone laughed, everyone approached me and said I stole the show, and they didn't know how funny I was. Over the years, I've become a good public speaker.....the one thing that always seems to fascinate people. How did I go from introverted to an good impromptu public speaker?


• It was great to see how people develop. Some of the guys peaked in college. Some didn't develop after college. They were still little boys. Success and the lack of success can show on how a person speaks, walks, sits, and smiles. I like the fact that most of the guys are either married with kids or engaged. Some are remarried.


• It felt like a giant because my of my attitude and disposition. My outlook on life is noticeably positive, and it lures people (out of curiosity) to ask me about my life. Then I tell them, and they are fascinated. Questions like how did this happen to you always follow.


• You can only compare yourself to yourself. How are you today compare to 15 years ago? Did you work on all the things you needed to? Did you develop your charisma, your personality, your leadership abilities? Or are you still the same guy. We must keep evolving and growing if we are to become all that we can. We must force ourselves out of our shells. I became an English major in college because I knew I needed to improve my speaking ability, my thinking, and my writing. This is something that I can't say enough about.


• You are always judged first by the way you speak, and what you say. Your abilities are secondary. This is what separates the CEO's from the workers. Notice how dogs and horses behave. There is always a top dog, established within 30 seconds of dogs meeting each other. All other dogs follow the top dog in a delta formation. Horses are the same way. All the horses in the stable always waited for Secretariat to start eating before they started eating. And he was often late out of the barn....just like me. Happy Holidays.
  
  

Pay Attention to the Rain

Many people learn, and get nothing from a failed deal, a failed meeting, a failed business, or a failed relationship. We are fail in life, but some people have the ability to see failure as an expensive education, and other people have to repeat the class.
Indulge me......I'd like to compare life to rain.
Sometimes we know its going to rain by the color of the clouds, and the humidity in the air. Sometimes, there isn't a cloud in the sky, but suddenly a thunderstorm erupts. Then, sometimes, it hasn't rained in a while (a month or so) and everyone starts discussing how much we need rain....and miraculously...its rains. You've come to expect rain. Its natural for you to think it will rain a few days every month.

Life is the same way. Sometimes, things are not going your way, but you have to realize, that this won't last. In business, you can tell when things are going to get busy, just as you can tell when things are slowing down. Call it the air in business, or the business environment. But can you control your own business weather?
The answer is yes. Indigenuos people all over the world have always had a dance or a ceremony to make it rain. In Georgia, they are experiencing a drought, so the governor calls for a day of prayer for rain,....the next day it rains.

In business and in life, you must do your own rain dance. Perhaps you aren't aware of how you do your rain dance.......maybe you have forgotten...here are some examples:

1- A Young Lady I know is approaching 30 (fast) and wants to get married. So she spends her weekends at singles meetings, clubs, bars, dance halls, lounges, match.com, various dating websites, etc. She's goes with her friends (who are also single.) While she's out at the rain dance pow-wow, she spends the evening thinking about, complaining about, and whining about how she and her friends can't meet any men. The first rule of the rain dance is to thanks the skies for letting it about to rain....[don't complain about the lack of rain.]

2- My sales team has been spending the month (its been very slow in real estate) talking about how busy they are going to be in the Spring. This is encouraged. Most other real estate offices are talking about their lack of business. Then they get depressed and go home early. My team is expecting it to rain....and it will.

3- I had a series of meetings with investors in October. Things were going well, then they backed out, probably due to the liquidity and credit concerns in the market. While were were talking, I felt great, like this was going to materialize. After it fell through, I started to review everything we talked about. After several days, it dawned upon me that they had mentioned a name, once, many weeks ago. A guy that has expertise in my type of business's situation. So, I carefully recalled the name, then looked him up on the internet. It was a gold mine of a lead, leading to something even bigger than I could have imagined. This is like watching it rain, and staring at individual rain drops.....you have to pick out the information that you are given and see where it takes you.

Its the holidays, and so many people are depressed and thinking about suicide. Everytime I read the news, I read about a several hate crimes in New York, or how someone killed their spouse. Yes...its the Holidays, the time of year when people go crazy because they lack the love in their life to make them feel normal compared to everyone else. Everytime they turn on tv, they are reminded that its time to buy something for you loved ones. Students in high school and colleges are committing suicide are alarming rates. More and more people are reminded that they are not loved. The message of the Holidays have been lost. Its just another commercial spending spree, instead of time to share the love.