Monday, April 28, 2008
Blast from the Past
I got an email from a former high school classmate, who is now living in Greece, married, and finishing medical school. She looks terrific, and has aged very well. It was odd--- she thought she remembered hanging at my apartment for a party. That never happened. I reminded her that I asked her to the prom 3 times (with the fear that she might think I was stalking her ...which could not be further from the truth.) She says she mis-remembers the party (like Roger Clemens.) But she recalls the prom thing, and she was dating a 24 year old guy while she was in high school. Today, there are laws against this stuff, but back in the 80's it was normal. I even remember all the girls that were sleeping with teachers, and passing classes with ease in high school and college, but this too was normal in the 80's and still normal on college campuses, but now illegal in a high school setting. Wow! have times changed. Imagine my surprise when she came to that prom with a guy who was 24! I was still 16! He was huge, I was in awe. What kind of a loser goes to a high school prom when he's 24? one more insight...the teacher chaperones were not really chaperones. They were drunk and having a great time. Anyway, its always weird talking to someone that turned you down when you were a kid, but alot more friendly now that life has been good to you. Beware.
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The Apathy of Defeat
I bumped into a guy from high school last week at a pharmacy. I asked "Who do you keep in touch with?", he said no one. I asked "what do you do these days?" He's single, lives with his parents in the home he grew up in, and just works. No kids, no life. I started to reminisce about high school, told him about the 20 people I've seen or talked to in the past 3 or 4 years. He was astounded. I told him about my life, the various businesses, the organizations I am invloved with, foundations I am involved with, etc. He was astounded. During his time off from work as a pharmacist, he plays video games. He had a girlfriend, a long time ago. I asked what was he involved with he during his time in high school. He said "Nothing." I left, and called a few people from my high school's graduating class. No one recalled who this person was. Its as if he did not exist. Its the apathy of defeat.
My new baby boy Phoenix was just born. He wakes me up at 1 and 4:40 am nightly, to feed, and to hear me talk about my life. Kids are something....a guaranteed audience for all my boring stories about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. He has 10 fingers and toes, 4 limbs, and all seems well. I hope he was born with a passion for life that never goes out. I get the feeling he's trying to tell me something. Can't wait to find out what it is.
Spoke to a guy that went to Stanford after high school and left after 2 years. He graduated from city college with a few degrees. He said he felt very inadequate at Stanford, and was constantly not fitting in. Almost had a nervous breakdown, but is doing very well now. College is like a shoe - the Air Jordans are not for everyone. Sometimes you like the sale rack better.
My new baby boy Phoenix was just born. He wakes me up at 1 and 4:40 am nightly, to feed, and to hear me talk about my life. Kids are something....a guaranteed audience for all my boring stories about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. He has 10 fingers and toes, 4 limbs, and all seems well. I hope he was born with a passion for life that never goes out. I get the feeling he's trying to tell me something. Can't wait to find out what it is.
Spoke to a guy that went to Stanford after high school and left after 2 years. He graduated from city college with a few degrees. He said he felt very inadequate at Stanford, and was constantly not fitting in. Almost had a nervous breakdown, but is doing very well now. College is like a shoe - the Air Jordans are not for everyone. Sometimes you like the sale rack better.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Back to the Future
This weekend, I was invited back to my high school to speak on career day. I had been inside my high school just twice since I graduated in 1989. The kids are so much brighter, and at the same time, the same as we were. So many did not have a career goal or choice, but knew they wanted to make money. Sounds too familiar, given my past.
Its alot like traveling back in time, and speaking to yourself. I wish we had a career day when I went to school. I wish I had some sort of guidance, but I didn't even have a guidance counselor when I was in High School. I had never even heard the words "guidance counselor."
It was a dream come true. I spoke with 3 other Alums, 2 graduated in the 80's before me, and one graduated in 1995. They expressed the same feelings about life that I had. One told me that for years he felt inferior to Stuyvestant kids. I went to college with quite a few Stuyvestant kids, and they are more or less the same as everyone else. I think it comes from the fact that Tech is always ranked behind some schools. Back then it was 3rd best. Now we are 39th the nation, and in the top 5 of New York City public schools. You know....it really doesn't matter.
The Tech students I met were very academically bright, but are not aware of career choices in the business world. Even to this day, science, mathematics, and engineering is all they are ever told about. If only they could have one class, just one 3 hour class on business careers....it would make a difference.
Alot of kids were already accepted to colleges. Some are still waiting to hear back. I tried to explain....there is no one college that will make or break you life's success. There is no one major, and rarely, is there ever a single decision that affects the rest of your life (usually who you marry or don't.) You grow physically until you are about 18, and you grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually for the rest of your life. So many students are worried about pressures from their families about majors, colleges, and careers. No one is worried about being a great human being. Non one is concerned about finding out who they are, and what they can do.
There is something very special about going to Tech. The school is hallowed grounds, like Yankee Stadium or Lambeau Field. There are 1200 students in the graduating class this year (I was told.) There are probably going to be 12 that change the world. There will be 120 that do better than survive. There rest will wander the streets of life looking for adventure or whatever comes their way.
It was a great experience, thankyou Brooklyn Tech.....once again.
Its alot like traveling back in time, and speaking to yourself. I wish we had a career day when I went to school. I wish I had some sort of guidance, but I didn't even have a guidance counselor when I was in High School. I had never even heard the words "guidance counselor."
It was a dream come true. I spoke with 3 other Alums, 2 graduated in the 80's before me, and one graduated in 1995. They expressed the same feelings about life that I had. One told me that for years he felt inferior to Stuyvestant kids. I went to college with quite a few Stuyvestant kids, and they are more or less the same as everyone else. I think it comes from the fact that Tech is always ranked behind some schools. Back then it was 3rd best. Now we are 39th the nation, and in the top 5 of New York City public schools. You know....it really doesn't matter.
The Tech students I met were very academically bright, but are not aware of career choices in the business world. Even to this day, science, mathematics, and engineering is all they are ever told about. If only they could have one class, just one 3 hour class on business careers....it would make a difference.
Alot of kids were already accepted to colleges. Some are still waiting to hear back. I tried to explain....there is no one college that will make or break you life's success. There is no one major, and rarely, is there ever a single decision that affects the rest of your life (usually who you marry or don't.) You grow physically until you are about 18, and you grow emotionally, mentally, and spiritually for the rest of your life. So many students are worried about pressures from their families about majors, colleges, and careers. No one is worried about being a great human being. Non one is concerned about finding out who they are, and what they can do.
There is something very special about going to Tech. The school is hallowed grounds, like Yankee Stadium or Lambeau Field. There are 1200 students in the graduating class this year (I was told.) There are probably going to be 12 that change the world. There will be 120 that do better than survive. There rest will wander the streets of life looking for adventure or whatever comes their way.
It was a great experience, thankyou Brooklyn Tech.....once again.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
On the Brink.......
After six weeks of presentations, packaging, market research, product development, etc......I reached an agreement in principle to make, market, and operate a line of male products for a famous NBA superstar. I had been working with his manager, and we shared different visions, but were able to meet in the middle. I wrote up a contract, accepting 25% of a company that I started, operated, and lost sleep over. Two days later they backed out. I was very suprised, but not disappointed. I was giving up too much to begin with, and now I know I can do it with any other athlete.
There is a voice inside all of us that we would like to get rid of. Its the voice of self doubt and pessism. Its the voice that keeps telling me to quit and go get a job. Its the voice that tells me that I can't succeed, that there is too much mountain going uphill. I've heard this voice in the past...my senior year in college, when I took 6 full time classes, worked part time, and completed a full time internship. I almost lost my mind. And I heard it again, when in my final year of my MBA, I worked full time, went to school part-time, had a wife and one child at home, and travelled for business a few times a month.
I'm lucky, I'm able to turn the volume down on that voice and turn it up on the voice that tells me to keep going, not to quit, to keep pushing, to keep striving. It developed this way while jogging. The self doubt voice is for losers. You have to keep focused on what you want, and keep moving in that direction.
Like Ali McBeal, I have a theme song. I keep singing in my head:
"I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top" from Jump Around. I've heard of political prisoners in solitary confinement that sang the same song to keep them going the entire time they were in solitary. Aren't we all in solitary more or less?
There is a voice inside all of us that we would like to get rid of. Its the voice of self doubt and pessism. Its the voice that keeps telling me to quit and go get a job. Its the voice that tells me that I can't succeed, that there is too much mountain going uphill. I've heard this voice in the past...my senior year in college, when I took 6 full time classes, worked part time, and completed a full time internship. I almost lost my mind. And I heard it again, when in my final year of my MBA, I worked full time, went to school part-time, had a wife and one child at home, and travelled for business a few times a month.
I'm lucky, I'm able to turn the volume down on that voice and turn it up on the voice that tells me to keep going, not to quit, to keep pushing, to keep striving. It developed this way while jogging. The self doubt voice is for losers. You have to keep focused on what you want, and keep moving in that direction.
Like Ali McBeal, I have a theme song. I keep singing in my head:
"I'm the cream of the crop, I rise to the top" from Jump Around. I've heard of political prisoners in solitary confinement that sang the same song to keep them going the entire time they were in solitary. Aren't we all in solitary more or less?
Friday, December 21, 2007
The Giant in the Room
I graduatd from college 14 years ago. I don't keep in touch with hardly anyone from college, and always felt that my fraternity and I didn't quite work out. Why would it? I was a poor, shy, insecure kid from Queens, and alot of these guys were well adjusted, well socialized, outspoken kids from wealthy families. I was also not a jock, but alot of these guys were more than just fully grown men in college. I always felt smaller in their presence.
- Last night I went to a Holiday get together consisting of 40 men from the fraternity. It was fantastic. I felt like a giant in the room talking with some of them. Physically, I have gained 30 lbs (mostly muscle) since college, while still keeping a slim build. Some of these guys had gained a lot of weight, where no weight needed to be gained. Some were slouched over, and lacked energy, or even personality. Some lacked spirit, some were confused. They were mostly where I was a year ago. I felt like I could pick any of these guys up with one hand. Like me, alot of them were doing well. However, most of the guys looked miserable in their jobs, and happy to be with their college buddies again. I gave a speech. Everyone laughed, everyone approached me and said I stole the show, and they didn't know how funny I was. Over the years, I've become a good public speaker.....the one thing that always seems to fascinate people. How did I go from introverted to an good impromptu public speaker?
- It was great to see how people develop. Some of the guys peaked in college. Some didn't develop after college. They were still little boys. Success and the lack of success can show on how a person speaks, walks, sits, and smiles. I like the fact that most of the guys are either married with kids or engaged. Some are remarried.
- It felt like a giant because my of my attitude and disposition. My outlook on life is noticeably positive, and it lures people (out of curiosity) to ask me about my life. Then I tell them, and they are fascinated. Questions like how did this happen to you always follow.
- You can only compare yourself to yourself. How are you today compare to 15 years ago? Did you work on all the things you needed to? Did you develop your charisma, your personality, your leadership abilities? Or are you still the same guy. We must keep evolving and growing if we are to become all that we can. We must force ourselves out of our shells. I became an English major in college because I knew I needed to improve my speaking ability, my thinking, and my writing. This is something that I can't say enough about.
- You are always judged first by the way you speak, and what you say. Your abilities are secondary. This is what separates the CEO's from the workers. Notice how dogs and horses behave. There is always a top dog, established within 30 seconds of dogs meeting each other. All other dogs follow the top dog in a delta formation. Horses are the same way. All the horses in the stable always waited for Secretariat to start eating before they started eating. And he was often late out of the barn....just like me. Happy Holidays.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Pay Attention to the Rain
Many people learn, and get nothing from a failed deal, a failed meeting, a failed business, or a failed relationship. We are fail in life, but some people have the ability to see failure as an expensive education, and other people have to repeat the class.
Indulge me......I'd like to compare life to rain.
Sometimes we know its going to rain by the color of the clouds, and the humidity in the air. Sometimes, there isn't a cloud in the sky, but suddenly a thunderstorm erupts. Then, sometimes, it hasn't rained in a while (a month or so) and everyone starts discussing how much we need rain....and miraculously...its rains. You've come to expect rain. Its natural for you to think it will rain a few days every month.
Life is the same way. Sometimes, things are not going your way, but you have to realize, that this won't last. In business, you can tell when things are going to get busy, just as you can tell when things are slowing down. Call it the air in business, or the business environment. But can you control your own business weather?
The answer is yes. Indigenuos people all over the world have always had a dance or a ceremony to make it rain. In Georgia, they are experiencing a drought, so the governor calls for a day of prayer for rain,....the next day it rains.
In business and in life, you must do your own rain dance. Perhaps you aren't aware of how you do your rain dance.......maybe you have forgotten...here are some examples:
1- A Young Lady I know is approaching 30 (fast) and wants to get married. So she spends her weekends at singles meetings, clubs, bars, dance halls, lounges, match.com, various dating websites, etc. She's goes with her friends (who are also single.) While she's out at the rain dance pow-wow, she spends the evening thinking about, complaining about, and whining about how she and her friends can't meet any men. The first rule of the rain dance is to thanks the skies for letting it about to rain....[don't complain about the lack of rain.]
2- My sales team has been spending the month (its been very slow in real estate) talking about how busy they are going to be in the Spring. This is encouraged. Most other real estate offices are talking about their lack of business. Then they get depressed and go home early. My team is expecting it to rain....and it will.
3- I had a series of meetings with investors in October. Things were going well, then they backed out, probably due to the liquidity and credit concerns in the market. While were were talking, I felt great, like this was going to materialize. After it fell through, I started to review everything we talked about. After several days, it dawned upon me that they had mentioned a name, once, many weeks ago. A guy that has expertise in my type of business's situation. So, I carefully recalled the name, then looked him up on the internet. It was a gold mine of a lead, leading to something even bigger than I could have imagined. This is like watching it rain, and staring at individual rain drops.....you have to pick out the information that you are given and see where it takes you.
Its the holidays, and so many people are depressed and thinking about suicide. Everytime I read the news, I read about a several hate crimes in New York, or how someone killed their spouse. Yes...its the Holidays, the time of year when people go crazy because they lack the love in their life to make them feel normal compared to everyone else. Everytime they turn on tv, they are reminded that its time to buy something for you loved ones. Students in high school and colleges are committing suicide are alarming rates. More and more people are reminded that they are not loved. The message of the Holidays have been lost. Its just another commercial spending spree, instead of time to share the love.
Indulge me......I'd like to compare life to rain.
Sometimes we know its going to rain by the color of the clouds, and the humidity in the air. Sometimes, there isn't a cloud in the sky, but suddenly a thunderstorm erupts. Then, sometimes, it hasn't rained in a while (a month or so) and everyone starts discussing how much we need rain....and miraculously...its rains. You've come to expect rain. Its natural for you to think it will rain a few days every month.
Life is the same way. Sometimes, things are not going your way, but you have to realize, that this won't last. In business, you can tell when things are going to get busy, just as you can tell when things are slowing down. Call it the air in business, or the business environment. But can you control your own business weather?
The answer is yes. Indigenuos people all over the world have always had a dance or a ceremony to make it rain. In Georgia, they are experiencing a drought, so the governor calls for a day of prayer for rain,....the next day it rains.
In business and in life, you must do your own rain dance. Perhaps you aren't aware of how you do your rain dance.......maybe you have forgotten...here are some examples:
1- A Young Lady I know is approaching 30 (fast) and wants to get married. So she spends her weekends at singles meetings, clubs, bars, dance halls, lounges, match.com, various dating websites, etc. She's goes with her friends (who are also single.) While she's out at the rain dance pow-wow, she spends the evening thinking about, complaining about, and whining about how she and her friends can't meet any men. The first rule of the rain dance is to thanks the skies for letting it about to rain....[don't complain about the lack of rain.]
2- My sales team has been spending the month (its been very slow in real estate) talking about how busy they are going to be in the Spring. This is encouraged. Most other real estate offices are talking about their lack of business. Then they get depressed and go home early. My team is expecting it to rain....and it will.
3- I had a series of meetings with investors in October. Things were going well, then they backed out, probably due to the liquidity and credit concerns in the market. While were were talking, I felt great, like this was going to materialize. After it fell through, I started to review everything we talked about. After several days, it dawned upon me that they had mentioned a name, once, many weeks ago. A guy that has expertise in my type of business's situation. So, I carefully recalled the name, then looked him up on the internet. It was a gold mine of a lead, leading to something even bigger than I could have imagined. This is like watching it rain, and staring at individual rain drops.....you have to pick out the information that you are given and see where it takes you.
Its the holidays, and so many people are depressed and thinking about suicide. Everytime I read the news, I read about a several hate crimes in New York, or how someone killed their spouse. Yes...its the Holidays, the time of year when people go crazy because they lack the love in their life to make them feel normal compared to everyone else. Everytime they turn on tv, they are reminded that its time to buy something for you loved ones. Students in high school and colleges are committing suicide are alarming rates. More and more people are reminded that they are not loved. The message of the Holidays have been lost. Its just another commercial spending spree, instead of time to share the love.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Of Mice and Men.....
The One thing I can't stand is a broken commitment. I can put up with lots of people...liars, cheaters, incompetence, etc. But, when someone looks me in the eye and shakes my hand, I consider that a commitment, and a contract.
Remember the movie Jerry McGuire? Remember when Jerry was trying to sign the #1 draft pick (The Cush played by Jerry O'Connell.) Beau Bridges says "I don't do contracts Jerry, but I give you my word and its as good as oak." Then they shake hands. All the while, Bob Sugar was signing them, and they were lying through their teeth.
These type of people don't just exist in the movies, they dwell in real life. I consider myself a great student of people, but recently, I was fooled! Someone shook my hand and promised an investment, resources, and lots of money. Then, after several weeks of jumping through hoops, .....poof! they changed their mind. Here's my take on this:
This happens to everyone. It could be a business deal, a marriage, a relationship, a parent that breaks their deal with their child, etc. Its better I find out early the type of person I'm dealing with, than come to realize it when its far too late. The more I get to know this person, the less I want to know. This person is a rat, but I'm glad I found out while he was just a mouse. So what do I do?
I can't spend any time thinking about this person, or feeling cheated. I have to move on, and focus all my energy on the next deal. Lessons learned: I can only be the type of person that I want to be, and I can't believe anyone else to have my high ideals and lofty values. The problem with Boy scouts is that they are disappearing fast.
Luckily, another door opened up right away, and its bigger and better than the last one. The more time I waste (including writing this blog about it) the less time I have to focus on the next venture.........Time waits for no man.
Remember the movie Jerry McGuire? Remember when Jerry was trying to sign the #1 draft pick (The Cush played by Jerry O'Connell.) Beau Bridges says "I don't do contracts Jerry, but I give you my word and its as good as oak." Then they shake hands. All the while, Bob Sugar was signing them, and they were lying through their teeth.
These type of people don't just exist in the movies, they dwell in real life. I consider myself a great student of people, but recently, I was fooled! Someone shook my hand and promised an investment, resources, and lots of money. Then, after several weeks of jumping through hoops, .....poof! they changed their mind. Here's my take on this:
This happens to everyone. It could be a business deal, a marriage, a relationship, a parent that breaks their deal with their child, etc. Its better I find out early the type of person I'm dealing with, than come to realize it when its far too late. The more I get to know this person, the less I want to know. This person is a rat, but I'm glad I found out while he was just a mouse. So what do I do?
I can't spend any time thinking about this person, or feeling cheated. I have to move on, and focus all my energy on the next deal. Lessons learned: I can only be the type of person that I want to be, and I can't believe anyone else to have my high ideals and lofty values. The problem with Boy scouts is that they are disappearing fast.
Luckily, another door opened up right away, and its bigger and better than the last one. The more time I waste (including writing this blog about it) the less time I have to focus on the next venture.........Time waits for no man.
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